Quit bouncing me into the jellyfish!
Oh no we’re upside down!
Ha Ha, look at me, I’m shooting cats!
Seriously, QUIT bouncing me into the jellyfish!
These are a few of the more safe for work phrases you would have heard from my couch as I sat down with two friends to play Shutsimi: Seriously Swole. As a muscle-bound fish with memory problems, you defend the seven seas with 5 upgradeable weapons like shotguns, lasers and cannon balls. You’ll fight undersea foes in this sidescrolling shooter you might expect like sqid, jellyfish, and sharks, but the sharks have frikkin’ lasers, and you may also sea bizarre opponents like cats in submarines, or bears rolling around in balls. Yes, usually in pairs.
Shutsimi’s unique twist is that each stage is only ten seconds long. Even the boss stages. You barely have a chance to get used to your new upgrade, and the stage is over. Oh right, “upgrades”, I should explain those. In between stages, you have ten seconds to pick a new upgrade for the next level. The pictures and descriptions of the upgrades rarely help your decision, so you might end up with a rapid fire shotgun, or you could end up swimming upside down, or becoming invisible, or the next level might turn into a bouncy castle where you and the enemies cannot harm each other.
This element of randomness and the super short levels lead to a lot of hilarious WTF moments, especially when playing with friends. You SHOULD play this game with friends, single player is an option, but not nearly as fun. The reaction when one of your friends chooses a terrible power up, the hilarity of bouncing your buddy into oncoming fire…these are the fun moments of Shutsimi.
If you frequently have friends drop by, this game will entertain for a quarter hour until you move onto the next game. If you are getting this for the single player experience, you will be quickly bored of the randomness and probably move on to something else. Shutsimi shines best in short bursts with friends.